"So tired of Running"

I don't want to run anymore

I don't need to run anymore

I don't have a choice to run anymore

I know my home....

I need my home....

I need my family....

LOL ...this is Vincent....

I feel incredible, like a cloud nine or higher kinda thing. This family i am part of is amazing...I just smile ear to ear when hearing from any of them. Its like a tight nit group of inside jokes, and knowing each others thoughts, and taking care of each other. Its just incredible to me. I love it.  While knowng i work at three I feel really calm today, I know i made a huge mistake yesterday when I hurt myself...but when I talked to my family they all just talked me through it. They still loved me and cared about me. They were still there for me. My mom REALLY hurt me when she told me she didn't want to meet them and that I was abdoning her, I dont think she understands or ever will that I am not dissapearing...it would kill me even more than her to abandon her or my family, I just need this family right now too, SOOO badly, my ass might get paddled , i might be grounded for all of eternity but it doesn't matter when I am with them. I am just in my own little personal thought up , dream / heaven....I really love it there. Wow...saying love a lot....better slow down there cheif jeeze!

I think i should write some things that make ME personally happy.....so lets try this out shall we :P

My 50 Loves

• I love to listen to music while walking and watching my surroundings, it makes a movie out of my life
• I love when I take a picture of something that people deem ugly and seeing their opinion change because they can now see what I saw to begin with
• I love running sand between my hands and doing cartwheels in sand(lol even though I am an epic failure at that stuff)
• I love stickers and beads....collecting them, looking through them, and using them to decorate and embelish things
• I love good smelling candles and body washes, they calm me down even when I am extremely upset
• I love to decorate and then redecorate everything over and over and over.
• I love when small children fall asleep , hug me, laugh because of me...Its the most comforting thing alive
• I love reading letters and writing letters to other people
• I love Christmas, everything about it makes me happy, the ordaments, the songs, the movies
• I LOVE standing under a street light in the snow.
• I love sucking on a stick of hard candy and having it pop out of the other end of my mouth like a child
• I love dead flowers, hanging them up and letting people see that even though its dead doesn't mean it didn't mean something to me
• I love small nick nac shelves, yes they are totally cheezy but they remind me of my grandma and how she used to let me play with hers
• I love when i have an excellent hair day and can feel it, it makes me confidant and happy
• I love to color pictures and draw things, i am not great at either but i still enjoy it SOO much
• I love shopping sprees, espically craft ones
• I love doll houses, I want to own a real wooden one and decorate it, and find furnature for it, and play with it when no one else is watching....its my dream gift, the one that i have wanted my whole life and never gotten.
• I love listening to Richard marx and bryan adams....they remind me of my faovrite memories with my parents and just a time where I was carefree in my life
• I love finding quotes and small pictures and collaging them together in my notebooks and whatever else
• I love really soft stuffed animals and carrying them around with me
• I love looking at craft books and decorating books...its like a personal crack to me
• I love calling people when I hear a song that reminds me of them and singing it to them really loud over the phone
• I love dancing around my room and not caring if they are good moves or not just having fun( feeling like the girl from flash dance)
• I love being scared of horror movies or having a good laugh at them
• I love when my Neice Ivori falls asleep in my big bed and in the middle of the night grabs onto my arm like a stuffed animal(ok that one made me tear up writing it...total sap!)
• I love naming my random stuffed animals
• I love looking exceptionally cute when going to work with adorable earings and ribbon in my hair
• I love playing improv games, I would do ANYTHING to have a group of people to improv with again
• I love monopoly....I dont know why i think i deep down hate the game but i love the play money and having fun with my little metal figurine
• I love watching jepordy and answering the questions before others in the room
• I love eating a nakashimas or hibachi food places....they are mega expensive but my favorite food of all time
• I love being taken care of when i am half asleep or sick, like being tucked in , and my hair brushed from my face....It makes me feel really not alone and very safe
• I love being told no....and then fighting it
• I love to bite nail polish off my fingers
• I love good coffee and drinking it in the morning outside
• I love being the person that people wake up to spend time with them
• I love standing on a weight scale and seeing how many pounds i have lost
• I love my hair whens its all messy in the morning
• I love scrapbooks and making them and looking through them( again CRACK!)
• I love chore charts, and reminder boards, and little post it note messages...it makes me feel like i am part of something
• I love doing situationals with people and walking through the "if i did this" what would you do...kinda things
• I love and i mean LOVE singing at church when I know a song and can just belt it...it makes me feel like god is with me and helping me hold up strong
• I love writing poetry like i did back in high school and having people really eager to read it or look at it
• I love big cites and just standing in them and watching life run around me.
• I love car rides even long ones when I am stuck in a car with a lot of people i can have fun with
• I love dressing in a way that expresses me and only me...not caring what it means to others
• I love having very little stuff in my room but making it feel like home for me its like my whole homeless/orphan thinger....
• I love hanging up pictures that one of my neices(AWE now i have two neices!!!! ) or nephews has made and telling them how cool and awsome I think it is. 
• I love charm bracelets, espeically ones with odd charms like keys, and old toys that my kids used to play with, or broken earings ect....

• I love my family.