- Illusions
Yoni is right, I really need to read that damn book. I googled some quotes from it and ^ THAT one came up. It reminds me of the first time meeting several people in my life.
So here is the scoop, I keep debating changing my blog because so much has changed since I have had this specific one. But I always loved my name for this blog and the people that have gone in and out haven't cared about it like I have so it doesn't automatically give me a "sean" memory or "joe" memory. Some of my old posts do but hopefully I will be posting enough to completely put those into my history.
I drank two full moutain dews in under an hour about 1 hour ago. They have definatly (FUCK I still can't spell that word.....) ha ha, it's funny I can see the "little me" having to write that word 100 times on paper till i have it memorized. Am i weird? ...Yep....Am I ok with that? ....Hell yea. I have let the age play part of myself out with a few really close friends and for once I don't feel like I need to hide it from the world. All those "little" characters I created as branches of myself can all just be released through me...Bailey, Ducky, Copper, Alexis...just to name a few. Each can come out be herself. I did an age/personality evaluation for these characters. Lmao, bear with me...you ever seen sybil...well i am starting to feel like her cousin
Bailey- This one has become my number one IK (inner kid) only because she has been developing the longest. She carries parts of all the other characters below. I started her out as a street kid, she knows that there is a dark side but fights against it internally. She doesn't want to live her life bitter and angry. But her constant search for someone that perfectly clicks with her is the biggest challenge to date.Bay is just like me in a lot of ways. She tells things like they are. She tends to put herself down and needs a lot of building up and encouragement. She is creative and blind to things that are good inside of herself. She also puts up a lot of walls and blocks people out untill they take apart her stubbornness and call her out for the person she is. She doesn't connect with a lot of people on personal levels but she likes a lot of people. This being said when she does connect she is more loyal, loving, and turns her stubbornness into determination to show the intensity of how she feels. When in a croud she is the kid with the mask with the people she loves she is expressive , spunky(in a punky brewster kinda way) and has a fun ATt-TI- TUDE!
I always see bailey as around 13 she is sensitive but masks it with her temper. Bay allows me to get rid of my temper and manipulation on a strong level. She is the most likely to fight and the least likely to cry.
Ducky/Troll- Ducky is probobly the youngest IK I have. She is around 5 years old and the character was abandoned a LOT leaving her scared of most everything. She has attachment issues, either she is quiet and off on her own or she is totally attached. Ducky doesn't talk much , when i actually type out for this character she had a slight stutter and hard time reading. She seems as if she is younger sometimes because she is a baby about things, Being scared of the dark and other scary things that go creep in the night. Sometimes she can be alone and fine other times she needs someone to give her a stuffed animal and cuddle her up. Overall she wants to show that she is happy go lucky but is shy about doing this. 
Copper/Charity- Cop has a lot of similarities with Ducky in the fact that she is sensitive, and scared of a lot of things. While being around 8 she has proven to be a strong little thing. Losing her best friend from when she was just a "pup" still being the most devastating thing for her. And something that she blames herself for and doesn't understand. She constantly plays the optimistic card and tells herself that her friend will come back. She is a bubbly little girl side. She likes to snuggle and watch a movie and to sit on the floor and play(dollhouses, make bead necklaces, put stickers in her sticker book) while the person watching over her is reading or doing other things. Copper is naive and really innocent. She likes to be imaginative and for the most part listens better than the rest of my IK's she will fight some small things but her fear of disappointing others really makes that difficult. Copper is easily frustrated with herself she says she is sorry more than any other word. She shuts down a lot and is my most vunerable IK. 
Alexis/Ally/Alex- Alex is my oldest IK she is usually around 15. She takes the whole world on her shoulders. She feels the need to fix and take care of everyone's problems but her own. Alexis lives in a world of organized chaos. While so many step into her life and start to drown she manages to keep herself afloat. She needs to prove herself constantly. Never having heard the words "I am proud of you " much as a child she decided she hadn't done enough to earn it so made it her life goal. She is a perfectionist and because she isn't a child anymore and feels ignored she acts out trying to get attention sometimes. She is lippy and really lives life in the moment . Alex never plays things safe. She needs to jump of cliffs and is always hoping her wings are still working. She tends to hide herself if she gets emotional as she hates to show her breakdowns. Alex has seen the darker side and while she doesn't try to let it get to her when she does, it beats her up pretty bad. she has been left by so many people she trusted. But she is the IK that wont face a problem because she gives herself the excuse that she has "too much she needs to take care of first". Suffering more loss than the others she stacks pillows next to her when she sleep so that she doesn't wake in shock.
While in RL life I don't come out and say I am having a Copper moment or a Bailey moment those same mind sets are there. Being that they all come straight from me they are always beneath the skin. Different feelings, actions, emotions and changes pull these girls out of me and show colors just straight through me vs through a character that I created. Anyways. more tomarrow, Bailey wants to fight sleep , but Copper and Ducky are already passing out and Alex knows that she needs to be responsible (LMAO freaking you out yet....DID is not that far off damn it....Sybil here I come!)
The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof. ― Illusions
-Peace love serenity
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