String Lights, and Stinging Submission 

Have you ever seen the circus? Ever seen the different colored lights around you and felt sensations of both love and fear for all of the "impossible" things that are presented before you?

I went to the circus, and even just as much a Magic show, ordinary turned to extraordinary at the hands of a magician . The Narration sinking into the core and pulling excitement to the surface.
I plan to write about my CM weekend(Note I say plan because I always INTEND to write a whole bunch of things but never get all that far) however I felt the need to write this blog/diary and write about something very significant to me and hopefully get some enlightening feedback from friends of mine.

I met an extraordinary individual this weekend. I will leave this persons name out of it because I am not sure of comfort levels and such but this person and I played together and spent some time together over the course of my Crimson Moon Holiday that left me absolutely Euphoric, Confused, and Reeling.
The play we had can't be described unfortunately , it was very much so a "you had to be there kinda thing" but what I said at the beginning by Magic Show, and Circus is the closest I can come.

My surroundings went blurry and all that mattered was what was happening. I could barely speak and I had very little control over myself in that moment( something I am very well known for having in my day to day life) . I called this person "Sir" very naturally. I WANTED to submit to him(For those that know me please pull your jaw off of the ground at this time , thank you) . I wanted everything that I never want....hell I NEEDED those things. I was so drawn in. All those elements in any other situation terrifies me, Sir, Submission, Control....I was so very vulnerable and he drew that out of me throughout the weekend in subtle ways, little tugs to my hair, a whisper in my ear, a suggestion, a gentle smile with fierce eyes behind it.
Am I a submissive? Am I that kind of person? I never in a million years took myself for someone that would fall into it. I was always a "nice" person. I was the girl in my vanilla life who would joke around and always have control over situations but anyone needed anything I would get up and get it, I would be the person to answer the call and go pick up someone, run and errand...in my scene life it is very similar. In control, very sassy and spunky, spitfire tendencies....Extremely independent. This ONE person made me question all of that.I mean still giving and gentle but that Control and Independence...would I fully give that up to someone?  He did everything in a way that was so gentle and so kind. It left my bar for what I want in my life so high that I fear dying the cat lady because I am freakin picky as hell now.

I leave out a lot of the other things we shared this weekend , again for both of our privacy's but seriously every moment I spent in his company was worth while and fantastic. He showed me things that I never dreamed I would like, and never thought really existed.
OK so this is the point where I am poke and prodded by all my closest friends " Angel do you "like" this guy" ....because YES I know that too is rare and never freakin happens(Again picky) the answer is absolutely. But let me add in a comment and just say that if we were never more than close friends I would also be happy just to know him. He was a true gentleman one that any lovely lady would be lucky to cross paths with.

Peace, Love, Serenity and Smiles
Angel